If you're a robot then you're completely screwed.
Unmoderated: This question has not been reviewed by Either moderators. Content may be misformatted, offensive or inappropriate in nature.
Add Comment
1,601 comments
Tip: Sign up to see adult-rated questions.
Recently Answered
- You would rather Have a wardrobe completely of flannel/plaid than Have a wardrobe completely of denim.
- You would rather drink you diarrhea than eat a shit sandwich everyday.
- When as Filia,, you would rather Fight Parasoul than Fight Valentine.
- You would rather Be on Planet with no water than Be on a planet with no food.
- You would rather Carl Die Ad T-Dog Come Back than Rick Die And Dale Comes Back.
Dreamkiller
This would work out wonderfully if you were gay, lol
Vicci Love
YES. This is how I win this question.
Conner Davis
So much win!
Alex Casanas
Not true, I'm gay, but tons of my friends are girls. If I couldn't touch them, that would suck. I am taking touch literally here.
PegasusTravels
Most of my friends are my own gender. Plus I'm gay.
Minkzx
Bisexual, prefer same gender.
Vexaton
Same as @Minkzx ;)
emmawalters
Yeah seriously, this was the easiest question ever. I can be friends with good friends with guys and never touch them.
Steph Butler
Lez be honest how many of us are queer and went for the blue
Advance
I'm straight, but without a girlfriend. Unless you count old Lefty over here...
PJ McGarrity
I WIN
no thankth
im bisexual, so i dont care, but i dont think i could take having no computers ever
troll999202
I'm a bi so...
Josiah Thompson
fuuck i clicked the wrong one!
Meemo2
PS3 FTW
Nathan
Totes got off the hook there because of that lol
Eve
Exactly. My life rocks.
TheDarkCynder
Asexual SO.
Zaltys
2D is better anyway.
Nasser Arrak
so true :3
Baxstar11
Perfect :D
Sarah
Exactly
Amira
And just like that I'm gay... It's okay girls have boobs so that's a plus I guess.. lol
IncredibleMrB
I'm not gay, but I still have a computer, some filthy websites, and a good hand so all is good.
ZeeZ
I can still touch the keyboard and mouse so all I gotta do is to get someone click on off button :)
Albert
so many gay
Yit
I'm a guy. I like guys. /Life remaining the same.
Kevlar
you are so right
Loon
A digital Ghandi... or Bill Clinton, that is the question.
Jackdackster
Nobody Said that i cant Touch a mouse, a headset and a Keyboard...
GoldenFleck
Psssshhhh.... I already have this life set up for me.....
trevor
Loophole: u can still use a laptop
Zeo181
They never said anything about the keyboard or mouse
Jade Gorton
so hard too answer. I can go without computers. But I am very touchy guy. So. :(
Tamlen
It says sex, not gender, you guys. Just find an intersex person willing to have sex pre-op. Oh wait, those don't exist.
Scrav
I'm bi, so this isn't a problem for me :P
Scrav
I'm bi, so this isn't a problem for me :P
Matthew Wulff
You're right, this works wonderfully for us
0011110000110011
Or asexual!
Meesh
Exactly - I'm gay :3
Utah G
both would erase the meaning of life
Utah G
wait a second I dont touch computerrs. I touch the keyboard and the mouse. so yeah
Glaceon999
I don't need men if I'm a Pokémon. Male Pokémon don't have balls, so they're basically all genderless. Only male Torchic even have assholes. So... *caramelldansen ensues*
mason
Im bi but i prefer same sex
Amin Armani
I'm a gay dude so I win!
Theo Cannamela
Thats me :)
JPJ280
I'm bi so I'm fine.
Htopop
Tablets were invented!
©€||£¥
True that
Pinkie Die
Yup, lucky to be les!
LOLOLOLOL
Good thing I dont use computers only laptops and phones
alicat2000
what do you mean again? lol im so sad
Hppy
HOMOSEXUALITY FTW!!!
Rye
Kind of difficult if you identify as an attack helicopter. We have computers in us.
Spooky Rabbit
My computer and I got married last month
Tunasandwiches
Im bi.. i play alot..soo xd
Serena Sandham
I'm still questioning my sexuality but I can't imagine a life without my trusty laptop.
Jokerboy14
All you have to do is switch gender and then BAM SEX IS BACK.
Jokerboy14
All you have to do is switch gender and then BAM SEX IS BACK.
Jokerboy14
All you have to do is switch gender and then BAM SEX IS BACK.
pilot88
WRONG AANSWER!!!! SHIT!!!!
Happysumo
Solution, just cover yourself in a thin unnoticable layer of something, you aren't touching them
Why am I here?
Another solution: Use tablets and phones instead of a computer.
nascaryoshi123
Nights wouldn't be the same if you know what I mean.
PebblePanda
not if you adopt a baby girl, that could be a problem.
owen
my computer is my life
mike
at school I cant use my computer there (unless I have to) and I have a girlfriend there
Leonardo Caruso
It didn't say a microsoft tab-pc
Katie
It does work out wonderfully for me
deen8801
what if you dont want a wife
AveEve
and i am so, whoop whoop
Deadpool
I popped the question to my girl ober the internet.
Jaxz
wait can I change my answer I just thought it says computer not laptop ipad phone ect so yer
Benjamin
I am so it was an easy decision
Benjamin
I am so it was an easy decision
Deadpool
Is it bad that I prefer a computer than a girl?
RudolfPG
Use a controler and type w/ a pencil or just use a mouse
RudolfPG
And a computer is just that box w/ motherboard etc
Percival
yup...
DoUEvenYT
I can't give up Minecraft
TheSepticLord
Laptop, bitch.
TheCorrupted
Or asexual. Not everyone likes sexual activities.
John Cena
I wanna hug my mom :(
TOYRBOdasiana
they never say nothing about laptops
Maddie
Im Bi, So either would work, Same sex OR opposite.
thewizerd
sorry but i can't live without computer , fapping will be enough.
Mohamed Bd
I love pc and im not a gay so fuck off
<3 <3
I'm open to ideas
Haruka Sekai
I'm bi so this works for me
Teo
True Story!
Canner Tycoon
Subscribe to cannertycoon
Noob Gamer
I CANT Live Without Coputer But I NEED Have Private Moments With My gf
Adatt
Bi computer nerd preferring men :**(
Boyshinboiv
I concur.
SGz_Eliminated
I'm straight I'd just rather have my PC than woman to f***. I can do whatever I want on PC, touching someone is great but you have to be in the mood for it. Besides the question doesn't say it gives you one to touch so in this example I'd just be losing my PC and not gaining anything soo
Matyu
Hey are you crazy if you dont touch computer 1 week you die!!!!!!
iHasicecream
Or you could not get married
Tyler
LOL MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY!!!
Emma Anno
Uhhmmm idk if im gay or not.....
Lyrica Prismriver
I'm not gay, BUT I'M A FULL TIME GAMER
Sky
yep
sonicscrewup
I'm bisexual, so it's not like I can never get laid again. And I fucking love computers.
Cameron
Hahaha u just made my day :)
John Doe
Internet high five
Lolwoods
Brofist
alongdark
HighFiveBrofistSmararoni
Your mom
Well, it says "never touch a computer again" not "never play with a computer again" so all I need is q person to turn on and off the monitor and I'll be good. Also, this excludes laptops. DOUBLE LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOPHOLES
VelocityRaptor28
clever workaround
jackal
I'm gay.
Jmoo14
Woow
awesome boss
I hate how people point out that their gay just to troll.
BearsAreDumb
What's trolling about pointing out a fact that makes the question nonsensical?
VincentMoon
Lol, and how is stating your sexual preference a form of trolling? You should look up what trolling is I suppose.
Frightened Badger
You can touch a keyboard and.mouse without touching a.computer
Sha5y
we found the loop hole here people!
T.P.N
._. i have a pc
pmaguire13
a laptop isn't a computer. ANOTHER LOOPHOLE.
Dakirel
Also, gloves.
Binthinak
Who needs a keyboard and mouse when you have a smart phone or tablet?
THUNDERLORD!!!
Yea or I could use SUPERCOMPUTERS..!
bb94
And you can look at people without touching them!
Dr-Ackbar
pmaguire13, laptops are computers
Poison
Fucking thought of that half a second after I pressed red. God damn it. xD
Alex
YES
John
Why touch a computer if you could be pervert
MyNameIsKali
But... but... my computer D:
Rythmbot
NO. NO.
Sha5y
i feel your pain bro
Zoepyropa
You can always leave it on, or ask someone to put it on... Its not that you can't touch you mouse or keyboard... ;)
Daniel Sifontes
Same as fu
Brian
Gloves
Alex
Also you cant even touch your mom
Killian McMasterful
What do you mean "again"?
Anikus
you just made my day! XD
Zin
Loooooool.
MichaelS
Full body condom...?
Cameron
bahahahahaha
River_Song
who needs people when there's the internet?
DrCrazyFishMan1
virgins
Conner Davis
You may want to talk to Amy about that first.
Rafael Tavares
you are so sad
ilovethedoctor77
Just buy an Iphone and you're good, River.
[deleted]
I feel u
samir
i agree
Vaszczi
Gay here. I can live with not touching women for the rest of my days. Simple.
John Doe
That would be annoying though. "High five!", "I'm sorry, I can't."
pmaguire13
what girl high fives?
I like PMMM
@pmaguire13 I do
Lawrence
I can just use a fucking droid for the internet
Coolkid1256
I REALLLLLLLY love Minecraft. :/
bossoftheboss
pussy>computer why would you want to spend your life watching porn anyway
alongdark
What if you gay or Bi?
[deleted]
I prefer to watch gaming videos and documentaries rather than porn, and play computer games. I don't touch people of the opposite gender often in the first place, so wouldn't experience that as a loss
Shadowiron
opposite lol.
Will
Anything you want to do on a computer can be done on a phone or an equivalent these days anyway..
alongdark
UNLESS ITS VIDEO GAMES
pmaguire13
the computer is the internal wireing
1nFAMOUS
Video game is not a computer
Pyrocynical
a phone is a computer, dumbass ._.
[deleted]
I'm gay. Obvious choice here.
Purple797
then ure cool but i would like to major in technology so that would be hard
jengel
I literally avoided the red choice with my cursor when answering this question...
Ryan Brumley
Well I'm gay so that works out for me :D
Leon8455
Um I'm gay soooo...yeah :D
justin
gloves
Cameron
Thats what im thinking
MissHorrorshow
I just read the comments. LOL I'm pansexual and female, so that only limits my choices to women, anyone transgendered or genderqueers...and the handful of times I've slept with men I've never enjoyed it EVER. How would I EVER make do?
Freddie Mercury
And just like that, i'm gay
Matthew
ipad :)
Vexera
I love technology. But I love my beau more...
Steven Bleile
only a matter of time before all computers are voice activated anyway
Joe Jones
Im not touching the computer im touching the keyboard *insert trollface*
John
I'd rather have sex with a real person lol ;)
iluvkfc
Can't... give up... computer... forced to... have... gay sex...
Aleksander Mortensen
It's not like I'm ever gonna get laid anyways :P After reading what I just wrote I feel kinda sad, lol XD
Ross ThunderStroke Heyman
Well no need for porn
Matt Van Yperen
To never touch a computer would be ok, as it didn't say anything about not touching a laptop, monitor, mouse or keyboard. So if you don't have a laptop you can get someone else to turn on the computer.
MooMooPie11
Mwahaha I'm Agender
Killawolf17
This one's easy... I'm lesbian xD
tyranos68
Just like that im gay lol
Melody Raindo
You could always touch an iPad or something. Plus if you use a mouse and a separate keyboard then technically you wouldn't be touching the computer itself. Or maybe just use gloves
bob boberson
bob says blue
ultranewt
...and proceeds to use xbox controller and chopsticks to interact with my computer
overtherainbow
As i completely love computers, this was a hard decision. But i like guys more....
Levi Hackerman
Well I never usually TOUCH my computer... only keyboard and monitor and other equipment...
Magnus Dandanell Jensen
What do you mean by "again"?
Magnus Dandanell Jensen
LOL
dragaroth
I say again, trans chicks are close enough to women for me, so BOOM.
XepicxnoobX
You cannot touch anything at an atomic level, I'm fine
Jamie Lourenco
If you wear a condom when you 'stick it in' does it count as touching?
Ender
does any one know what touch is... well if you put your hands together and say well thats touch then WRONG. touch is when your atoms/molecules touch each other meaning if your atoms touched your girl friends atoms you and her would be stuck together or you would give her atoms from you. think about that. now if you say well i can feel this rough dirt. now let me say this, when you feel that dirt its just your atoms reacting to the atoms of the dirt. so what i am trying to say is that there is a small miroscopic level of nothing! now don't believe me then check out this video. it will explain this in a much more deeper level of detail then i can. www.youtube.com/watch?v=yE8rkG9Dw4s.
mikey77
I went blue but if i had to go red I would want to be a gay girl
Earl Fleming Baker I
PORN......that is all.
Jackel
wear gloves with phone
magical ronicorn
Also after I red some of the comments guys made about women and sorry, not interested. Also I don’t touch my male friends because it’s awkward. Maybe I won’t be able to hug my dad but I can tell him that I love him without hugs. I feel awkward touching guys anyway so...
magical ronicorn
Talk to the bi graphic design student (that’s me)
magical ronicorn
I can be gay if needed
hai
Phones, tablets
Dogtimus
So lonely :(