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Would you rather...

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Would you rather...

64% Have a lightsaber

36% Have a helper monkey

Would you rather...

64%
1,062,711 agree
Have a lightsaber
36%
598,305 disagree
Have a helper monkey

Hardest Choice Ever

added by Sam Dunn
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A legit Star Wars lightsaber or a helper monkey that would do anything for you (within reason and PETA rules).

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1,020 comments

  • 379

    Bahearn

    9 years ago

    My helper monkey would have a light saber so it's win/win.

    • 149

      ZmanElete

      6 years ago

      I dont even need the lightsaber. Monkeys are fricking cool

    • 119

      Vesko

      6 years ago

      My lightsaber would come with bonus ninja help monkeys. So it is win/win/win.

    • 89

      Peter

      6 years ago

      Sorry but I don't think a monkey can slice your enemies in half

    • 43

      Derrick Castaño Agu

      6 years ago

      helper monkey can grab a beer for me. Total win.

    • 45

      ossmosse

      6 years ago

      Yeah but really how many times will you actually use a lightsaber and not kill yourself?

    • 27

      Crazed3raser

      6 years ago

      once i saw that it had to be within PETA rules, i was like, nope

    • 39

      Diggler

      6 years ago

      PETA rules means he would do nothing for you.

    • 21

      Rickson Goncalves

      5 years ago

      yo you ever watch Malcolm in the middle, monkeys are pretentious evil homicidal demons

    • 7

      Licu Mihai

      5 years ago

      that what i thinked too!

    • 38

      Kyle

      5 years ago

      I killed your helper monkey with my light saber

    • 6

      Meemo2

      5 years ago

      umm fail.

    • 4

      Justus Smith

      5 years ago

      Why would your helper monkey have a lightsaber??? where did it say that?

    • 20

      1stwarror

      5 years ago

      No need for a lightsaber anyway. I mean, what are you going to do with it, kill people? You'll probably just use it to cut seasoning. It's not like it comes with force. A helper monkey on the other hand can be used for a lot more than culinary stuff.

    • 5

      jakereeno

      5 years ago

      It doesn't say the monkey can't talk so it's a win/win.

    • 12

      jakereeno

      5 years ago

      All I would need now is a pig and a segway and I've got myself a viral video

    • 17

      Foxy Boxes

      5 years ago

      1) Sell lightsaber to military. 2) Profit.

    • 4

      shane

      5 years ago

      well i would use the saber to cut down tress and own a lumber company = moar profit

    • 4

      Kristopher

      5 years ago

      Fuck this shit, my monkey has a machine gun, as in a PKP Pecheneg. MOOOOOONKEYS.

    • 10

      Varkarrus

      5 years ago

      The force is actually invisible helper monkeys

    • 2

      [deleted]

      5 years ago

      Marmosets are adorable! I want one!

    • 3

      UnderscoreZero

      4 years ago

      Bah, if you were caught with a lightsaber by police it'd be taken away or something.

    • 0

      that one guy

      4 years ago

      I kill your helper and you the take your lightsaber.

    • 2

      Cupcakes!

      4 years ago

      The monkey can get me a light saber so AGREED!

    • 5

      Ydanay

      4 years ago

      Or I could use a lightsaber to force someone to give me a monkey.

    • 1

      Joby Mcfarland

      4 years ago

      Because your monkey can get you a lightsaber

    • 2

      Cody Dudash

      4 years ago

      You need knowledge of the force to use a lightsaber, and I assume you only get the lightsaber, so it would just be a fancy paperweight.

    • 7

      nonclevername

      4 years ago

      A monkey with a light saber would kill itself within 20 minutes

    • 1

      Cassirinda

      4 years ago

      My helper monkey will murder everyone I hate

    • 0

      Somerandomwizard

      4 years ago

      Well MY LIGHT SABER HAS A HELPER MONKEY!!

    • 1

      Tasha xx

      4 years ago

      I WANNA MONKEY!!!!!!!! x

    • 6

      Jacob Dittmer

      4 years ago

      Your monkey would shit everywhere. Lightsabers don't shit

    • 3

      51%

      3 years ago

      fuck PETA they're a bunch of retards

    • 0

      WaffleFlakes

      2 years ago

      Yeah!

    • 1

      WindigoGaming87

      2 years ago

      A lightsaber would penetrate your ass.

    • 2

      Dexter

      2 years ago

      fook no i want a lightsaber

    • 0

      Cabamsoo

      2 years ago

      Lightsaber>Monkey

    • 0

      ~~Lucky_Girl~~

      2 years ago

      LIKE BLUES STOP! THE MONKEY COULD HAVE A LIGHR SABER

    • 0

      ~~Lucky_Girl~~

      2 years ago

      *light

    • 2

      Sparky233

      2 years ago

      What you would do is threaten the zoo-keepers with your light-saber and get a monkey.

    • 1

      Eli

      2 years ago

      No, guys you don't get the Force OK!

    • 0

      FrickinGamer

      2 years ago

      Now, who dont want the be Obi Wan?! Anyone?

    • 1

      shrek999

      2 years ago

      PETA RULES

    • 0

      PuzzelMaster123

      2 years ago

      FUck just relized that

    • 0

      emma

      2 years ago

      i never realized that

    • 0

      kyle

      2 years ago

      want to have illegal possesion of firearm? idontknow the right spelling

    • 1

      Poptart_Wizard

      2 years ago

      Well my lighsaber shoots out helper monkeys. It doesn't work like that

    • 0

      William Webb

      2 years ago

      Hello, he is a helper monkey, you must be paralyzed or blind or some shit like that

    • 0

      gameslayet

      2 years ago

      Or Would it

    • 0

      TheDoctorTARDIS

      2 years ago

      It's an all-purpose knife!

    • 0

      DamianV

      2 years ago

      I will sell the lighsaber for milions of dollars and buy the monkey.

    • 0

      dalaststandever

      2 years ago

      peta rules means you can't get the monkey to give you hand jobs all the time

    • 0

      [deleted]

      2 years ago

      |:(

    • 0

      ronnoC

      2 years ago

      Dude Monkeys don't just sprout Lightsabers. Also, jakereeno, Its Just a monkey. Monkeys don't talk.

    • 0

      BrownieCakes

      2 years ago

      He can help me threaten scientists to make a light saber, then i could take a lot of them, make a crap ton of money, and happiness forever. Dont ruin my moment and say ill die

    • 1

      DanTDM

      2 years ago

      I would have a light saber like Luke SkyWalker!

    • 0

      NETHERDUCK

      2 years ago

      you are a smart lietle dude

    • 0

      Scarlette Foxx

      2 years ago

      You won the argument for me.

    • 2

      David Mills

      2 years ago

      1stwarrior the lightsaber could cut through morenthan food or people. It could cut through any metal, like a vault in the bank. And slash out the cameras. You could kill any witnesses

    • 0

      JamesxBoy101

      2 years ago

      No monkeys throw their poop's at people

    • 0

      JamesxBoy101

      2 years ago

      No monkeys throw their poop's at people

    • 0

      Alex

      2 years ago

      I got a lightsaber, yay-- Fuck, my arm!!!

    • 0

      ToboTEC

      2 years ago

      Yeah that would be great

    • 0

      The dancing sewar

      2 years ago

      Look at vesco

    • 0

      TheNetherDragon

      2 years ago

      You'd also be able to take the light saber and throw it at the monkey. Then see if it throws it back at you. lol

    • 0

      ravenbird

      2 years ago

      damn now i regret my answer

    • 1

      AustinIsNyanCat

      1 year ago

      My helper monkey would come with a machine that gives me anything i want and donates the stuff i don't win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win BA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM I answered this question already and clicked the wrong thing ahh

    • 0

      Eshan Haider

      1 year ago

      THEN I WOULD KILL THE MONKEY WITH THE LIGHTSABER WITH MY FORM 4 OTARU

    • 0

      cp77

      1 year ago

      Lightsabers can cut through almost everything. Plus, just wear mandalorian iron armor

    • 0

      AlexG

      1 year ago

      I would stick my lightsaber up ur monkeys ass

    • 0

      iblvicnfly

      1 year ago

      "Luke, I am your father." -Darth Vader

    • 0

      i dont know

      1 year ago

      yeah

    • 0

      TheChosenOne

      1 year ago

      My Helper monkey would beat the shit out of Darth Vader and then get me a lightsaber.

    • 0

      Butter_On_Toast;)

      1 year ago

      @iblvicnfly, you have just chosen my answer. FUCK MONKEYS!

    • 0

      Nicholas Reed

      1 year ago

      Monkey = No more bananas = no potassium = no radioactive banas in the house (potassium is radioactive)

    • 1

      Stopercentny

      10 months ago

      Darth Vader > monkeys...besides you can buy monkeys but not a lightsaber...

    • 0

      Alec

      10 months ago

      Mine too

    • 0

      Garrett Joswick

      10 months ago

      if ur monkey had a saber with it, it would kill u on accident

    • 0

      sandman_gaming

      8 months ago

      have you seen the movies? Helper monkys normally just follow the person around and make noises (Winston is not a helper monky btw)

    • 0

      The_gentleman

      5 months ago

      light sabers are impossible in this universe. the second option implies that it has been brought from another. how the hell are you going to find a light saber for your monkey

    • 0

      Cactus Tree

      5 months ago

      I wanted to choose blue but I regret after reading your comment

    • 0

      ThunderWolfwarrior

      4 months ago

      get the tiny litsabers

    • 0

      TalaUnicornArmy

      4 months ago

      this was so hard to chose from, I have to close my eyes and chose, SEE ONLY IN THE MONKEY HAD SENSE OF SMELL! it could smell my phone and find it. PLUS! I am a lazy potato!

    • 0

      skrewIT

      4 months ago

      hahaha yes!

    • 0

      JJ24

      3 months ago

      Your retarted

    • 0

      max

      3 months ago

      but my lightsaber comes with a pet monky

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Alright let's be real, you could only have one. Like, would you live in a space colony or the white house, you can't just say that the space colony includes the entire universe. That's stupid. And no, the helper monkey would not get the lightsaber for you. It's a monkey.

    • 0

      Dino4117

      1 week ago

      ya plus monkeys are mean so they are like another wepon

  • 37

    Stolkmen

    8 years ago

    Light Saber FTW! I would love to have one. Better than a monkey. They die. Sabers don't.

    • 7

      Freesemag

      6 years ago

      But what if you're drunk and accidentally cut off your own head?

    • 25

      Kyle Chainey

      5 years ago

      Then that's your dumb ass fault..

    • 1

      Ozzy

      5 years ago

      ^^ Because you chose the lightsaber..

    • 1

      Kristopher

      5 years ago

      Stolkmen, 3 years earlier, forgot the batteries to his Lightsaber.

    • 1

      PangestuJuan

      4 years ago

      Monkeys are sometime annoying

    • 0

      Cody Dudash

      4 years ago

      But, you need to know the force to use a lightsaber, so it would be useless.

    • 0

      Shulk

      2 years ago

      I don't need a lightsaber. I have the Monados power!

    • 0

      cp77

      1 year ago

      Kristopher, I have 4 fords for you: LIGHTSABERS DON'T NEED BATERIES

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Uh, since when? You wouldn't need the force to use it, you just wouldn't be absolutely destroying everyone with your lightsaber as much as, say, Luke skywalker. I mean, it's literally just turning on a switch and making sure you don't point it the wrong direction and burn your dick off.

  • 21

    Rachel Anne Lastres

    6 years ago

    i would rather the elder wand -_-

  • 20

    River_Song

    6 years ago

    you can always threaten a monkey to be your helper with the lightsaber

  • 19

    Rythmbot

    6 years ago

    It's illegal to use what you use a lightsaber for. It's adorable to have monkey follow you around.

    • 8

      Tom Swift

      5 years ago

      Until it kills someone

    • 7

      berenkuntz

      5 years ago

      you think having a pet monkey isn't illegal!?

    • 2

      CJ K.

      5 years ago

      who says we're using the lightsaber for murder/other illegal activities?

    • 1

      MarkTheGr8

      5 years ago

      CJ K. In many places walking around with a 2.5 inch knife is illegal. I'm sure you wont be allowed to swing about with a lightsaber, unless it about 100% more light than saber.

    • 1

      AnduRo

      2 years ago

      Yes monkeys are cute

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Fam, I don't think the feds are gonna come after you because you turned on your glorified light stick in walmart until i cut some kid's toy in half. Also, alot of people will attack you for having the monkey, since, well, he's an animal.

  • 13

    ZmanElete

    6 years ago

    Id have that helper monkey help me get a lightsaber

    • 2

      ronnoC

      2 years ago

      where the heck wold the monkey find a lightsaber

    • 4

      Ravenerpo

      2 years ago

      Mushroom Kingdom

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      And where would a monkey find the mushroom kingdom

  • 12

    Tiki_Guy

    6 years ago

    I already have helper monkeys. They're called "friends"

    • 3

      Vampn

      5 years ago

      And that`s why I chose the monkey ;(

    • 0

      choicemaker

      1 year ago

      You refer to your friends as monkeys?

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      I suppose, technically, we are their cousins, so, scientifically, he's not far off. Don't we share 95% of our Dna with them?

  • 11

    Rikujin

    6 years ago

    conquest

  • 8

    Horshwa

    7 years ago

    My monkey will steal your lightsabers bitches

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      What, is he gonna break through my window? Is he gonna pick my lock? He's a monkey, not a scientist.

  • 7

    Lisa Wolf

    6 years ago

    my helper monkey would be that intelligent, he would build a lightsaber

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      I don't think you can decide how intelligent your monkey is, let alone intelligent enough to build one.

  • 6

    Storm

    6 years ago

    I showed the bitches my helper monkey. Bitches love helper mokeys

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Let's hope the monkey didn't attack them!

  • 5

    lilyconn

    5 years ago

  • 5

    Philtrum

    6 years ago

    Use the lightsaber to steal a helper monkey. Take over the world. /nod

  • 5

    tzk132

    7 years ago

    you can buy a helper monkey

  • 4

    Not_A_Guy

    4 years ago

    My light saver could help me gain a helper monkey... And various other objects

  • 4

    Andrew Smith

    5 years ago

    "You've got a helper monkey?" "Yeah." ZZZZHHHH "That's cute."

    • 0

      choicemaker

      1 year ago

      umm so I can guess you would like to kill people and go to hell. sure a helper monkey is lame, but he said it could do anything, including getting me a job

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Unless that job is a pet carer, or something, How on earth would he get you a job? Like, if we're talking realistically

  • 4

    Kantoran

    5 years ago

    Lightsabers are just horrible amputation accidents waiting to happen.

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Wait until the local animal loving mob tears your head off for "Abusing an animal into slavery"

  • 4

    pirate

    6 years ago

    Really, how do you guys plan to use a light saber? To kill people and go to jail?

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Have you ever heard of self defense? No one would believe that, first of all, and two, unless you're that careless, I don't think you're going to kill someone with it.

  • 4

    Ben Greene

    6 years ago

    Why would you want a lightsaber? You wouldn't even be able to wield it unless you are a jedi.

    • 0

      Cheating Bastard

      5 years ago

      Where did you hear that only Jedi's can use lightsabers?

    • 0

      Ozzy

      5 years ago

      General Grievous disagrees Ben... He uses 4 and hes a fucking robot

    • 0

      Miriam

      4 years ago

      Guys, guys... 1) Why would you not want a light saber?! 2) Sith can also skillfully use a light saber. Or anyone, basically. But maybe not that skillfully. 3) Greivous was a cyborg, not a mere robot.

    • 0

      AnduRo

      2 years ago

      Anyone can use the lighsaber

  • 4

    overtherainbow

    7 years ago

    PETA rules would allow you to do basically nothing with your monkey. Lightsaber would be bad ass.

    • 8

      MarkTheGr8

      6 years ago

      It's a helper monkey. Unless you're going to attempt to rape your monkey, PETA's got nothing to say. Like buying a dog, y'know?

    • 1

      Sean Dawson

      6 years ago

      @Mark I fucking passed out from laughter XD

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      I'm fairly certain a dog companion pet is sorta different than monkey helper butler.

  • 3

    Alexander Banne Banning

    4 years ago

    The monkey can just take the lightsaber from someone..

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      And where are you going to find a lightsaber, or find the monkey for that matter? It's a monkey

  • 3

    Salma Ibrahim

    4 years ago

    Curious George!

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      ....This has actually got me interested. You just had to bring up my childhood, eh?

  • 3

    Schuman11

    5 years ago

    My helper monkey would make a light saber for me.

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      How would you, or the monkey know how to? It'd be super expensive, even if it's crude.

  • 3

    Mateusz Kraszewski

    5 years ago

    LIGHTSABRUUU!!

  • 3

    Nathan Derpahurdle

    6 years ago

    Fuck PETA. Support a real cause not a bunch of sensationalists that kill more animals than they save.

  • 3

    Nick Vachon

    6 years ago

    I would make irresponsible mistakes with a light saber

  • 3

    itsthejizz

    6 years ago

    hands down, force up

  • 3

    nashcali22

    6 years ago

    i would kill myself with a lightsaber in 1 second

  • 3

    Forealms

    7 years ago

    Apart from the fact PETA would not want me to have a helper monkey, lightsabers satisfy an urge that every kid since the 70s has had.

    • 0

      jakereeno

      5 years ago

      Not me (I'm 14)

    • 1

      will

      3 years ago

      PETA actually doesn't want people to have pets. They think it isn't the animals choice so it is wrong. So basically the helper monkey wouldn't do anything. I decided to ignore the whole peta thing when choosing because the asker clearly knows nothing about it.

  • 3

    mat

    7 years ago

    I have nothing to cut.

    • 9

      Ayan Ajgaliev

      6 years ago

      When a lightsaber appears in your hand, you will have a world to cut!

  • 0

    LokiSkywalker

    23 hours ago

    Lightsabers would not be fun without the force

  • 2

    ChadMakez

    2 years ago

    my monkey could do my schoolwork and homework.

  • 0

    Swift Fox

    1 week ago

    I could just have the monkey get me a lightsaber, gg ez

  • 0

    alexander

    1 week ago

    mobile legends approved:claude

  • 2

    Ramroc

    5 years ago

    What else do you need with a monkey?

  • 2

    Cross

    5 years ago

    I needed someone other than me to make people feel awkward like scratching my nutsack

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Let's hope he doesn't rip it off first go...

  • 2

    Jo Kristoffer

    6 years ago

    I don't I actually read this dilemma. I just saw 'monkey' and pressed it.

  • 2

    Jmoo14

    6 years ago

    Who wouldn't wasn't a monkey

  • 2

    Zach Harris

    6 years ago

    Honestly how often are you going to use a lightsaber?

    • 3

      ಠ_ಠ

      6 years ago

      every day of my fucking life

    • 0

      pirate

      6 years ago

      @ಠ_ಠ Doing what?

    • 0

      CJ K.

      5 years ago

      @pirate anything and everything.

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Self defense and, let's be honest, you would one-up every "rich family item" from your friends!

  • 2

    Leon8455

    6 years ago

    "I don't see why you need the FORCE when you have a freaking lightsaber that can cut through anything, all you need then is a list of demands" :3

    • 1

      Read the description.

      2 years ago

      You need the force to wield a lights anger properly, otherwise it's a metal rod with a laser beam waiting to amputate everything.

    • 0

      Solstrii

      2 months ago

      Uh, Han Solo did it. So did a fucking robot. And he used four.

  • 2

    Jim

    9 years ago

    Dance Monkey!!

  • 0

    GrimStomper

    1 month ago

    Hell yeah!

  • 0

    Yeet

    1 month ago

    It's either be Darth Vader or fucking Dora the Explorer. Your choice

  • 0

    daniel slatter

    1 month ago

    pew pew pew pew

  • 0

    welp I’m here now

    1 month ago

    I could be more powerful and impress all my Star Wars loving friends

  • 1

    BRUH

    1 year ago

    Lightsaber FTW!

  • 0

    yeeticus prime

    1 month ago

    monkey because lightsabers can fucking cut my fingers and anything around me easly

  • 1

    maxine

    1 year ago

    I LOVE MONKEYS

  • 1

    Taylor

    1 year ago

    My monkey would die the minute I got it

  • 1

    Read the description.

    2 years ago

    *handjob*

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