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Would you rather...

64% Have a lightsaber

36% Have a helper monkey

Would you rather...

64%
1,033,806 disagree
Have a lightsaber
36%
580,953 agree
Have a helper monkey

Hardest Choice Ever

added by Sam Dunn
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A legit Star Wars lightsaber or a helper monkey that would do anything for you (within reason and PETA rules).

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893 comments

  • 340

    Bahearn

    7 years ago

    My helper monkey would have a light saber so it's win/win.

    • 138

      ZmanElete

      4 years ago

      I dont even need the lightsaber. Monkeys are fricking cool

    • 103

      Vesko

      4 years ago

      My lightsaber would come with bonus ninja help monkeys. So it is win/win/win.

    • 77

      Peter

      4 years ago

      Sorry but I don't think a monkey can slice your enemies in half

    • 38

      Derrick Castaño Agu

      4 years ago

      helper monkey can grab a beer for me. Total win.

    • 39

      ossmosse

      4 years ago

      Yeah but really how many times will you actually use a lightsaber and not kill yourself?

    • 25

      Crazed3raser

      4 years ago

      once i saw that it had to be within PETA rules, i was like, nope

    • 37

      Diggler

      4 years ago

      PETA rules means he would do nothing for you.

    • 19

      Rickson Goncalves

      4 years ago

      yo you ever watch Malcolm in the middle, monkeys are pretentious evil homicidal demons

    • 7

      Licu Mihai

      4 years ago

      that what i thinked too!

    • 37

      Kyle

      4 years ago

      I killed your helper monkey with my light saber

    • 6

      Meemo2

      4 years ago

      umm fail.

    • 4

      Justus Smith

      4 years ago

      Why would your helper monkey have a lightsaber??? where did it say that?

    • 19

      1stwarror

      4 years ago

      No need for a lightsaber anyway. I mean, what are you going to do with it, kill people? You'll probably just use it to cut seasoning. It's not like it comes with force. A helper monkey on the other hand can be used for a lot more than culinary stuff.

    • 5

      jakereeno

      4 years ago

      It doesn't say the monkey can't talk so it's a win/win.

    • 12

      jakereeno

      4 years ago

      All I would need now is a pig and a segway and I've got myself a viral video

    • 15

      Foxy Boxes

      4 years ago

      1) Sell lightsaber to military. 2) Profit.

    • 3

      shane

      4 years ago

      well i would use the saber to cut down tress and own a lumber company = moar profit

    • 4

      Kristopher

      3 years ago

      Fuck this shit, my monkey has a machine gun, as in a PKP Pecheneg. MOOOOOONKEYS.

    • 6

      Varkarrus

      3 years ago

      The force is actually invisible helper monkeys

    • 2

      [deleted]

      3 years ago

      Marmosets are adorable! I want one!

    • 2

      UnderscoreZero

      3 years ago

      Bah, if you were caught with a lightsaber by police it'd be taken away or something.

    • 0

      that one guy

      3 years ago

      I kill your helper and you the take your lightsaber.

    • 2

      Cupcakes!

      3 years ago

      The monkey can get me a light saber so AGREED!

    • 4

      Ydanay

      3 years ago

      Or I could use a lightsaber to force someone to give me a monkey.

    • 1

      Joby Mcfarland

      3 years ago

      Because your monkey can get you a lightsaber

    • 2

      Cody Dudash

      3 years ago

      You need knowledge of the force to use a lightsaber, and I assume you only get the lightsaber, so it would just be a fancy paperweight.

    • 5

      nonclevername

      2 years ago

      A monkey with a light saber would kill itself within 20 minutes

    • 0

      Cassirinda

      2 years ago

      My helper monkey will murder everyone I hate

    • 0

      Somerandomwizard

      2 years ago

      Well MY LIGHT SABER HAS A HELPER MONKEY!!

    • 1

      Tasha xx

      2 years ago

      I WANNA MONKEY!!!!!!!! x

    • 5

      Jacob Dittmer

      2 years ago

      Your monkey would shit everywhere. Lightsabers don't shit

    • 3

      51%

      1 year ago

      fuck PETA they're a bunch of retards

    • 0

      WaffleFlakes

      1 year ago

      Yeah!

    • 1

      WindigoGaming87

      1 year ago

      A lightsaber would penetrate your ass.

    • 1

      Dexter

      1 year ago

      fook no i want a lightsaber

    • 0

      Cabamsoo

      1 year ago

      Lightsaber>Monkey

    • 0

      ~~Lucky_Girl~~

      1 year ago

      LIKE BLUES STOP! THE MONKEY COULD HAVE A LIGHR SABER

    • 0

      ~~Lucky_Girl~~

      1 year ago

      *light

    • 2

      Sparky233

      1 year ago

      What you would do is threaten the zoo-keepers with your light-saber and get a monkey.

    • 1

      Eli

      1 year ago

      No, guys you don't get the Force OK!

    • 0

      FrickinGamer

      1 year ago

      Now, who dont want the be Obi Wan?! Anyone?

    • 1

      shrek999

      1 year ago

      PETA RULES

    • 0

      PuzzelMaster123

      1 year ago

      FUck just relized that

    • 0

      emma

      1 year ago

      i never realized that

    • 0

      kyle

      1 year ago

      want to have illegal possesion of firearm? idontknow the right spelling

    • 1

      Poptart_Wizard

      1 year ago

      Well my lighsaber shoots out helper monkeys. It doesn't work like that

    • 0

      William Webb

      1 year ago

      Hello, he is a helper monkey, you must be paralyzed or blind or some shit like that

    • 0

      gameslayet

      1 year ago

      Or Would it

    • 0

      TheDoctorTARDIS

      1 year ago

      It's an all-purpose knife!

    • 0

      DamianV

      1 year ago

      I will sell the lighsaber for milions of dollars and buy the monkey.

    • 0

      dalaststandever

      1 year ago

      peta rules means you can't get the monkey to give you hand jobs all the time

    • 0

      [deleted]

      1 year ago

      |:(

    • 0

      Equality=Good

      1 year ago

      Dude Monkeys don't just sprout Lightsabers. Also, jakereeno, Its Just a monkey. Monkeys don't talk.

    • 0

      BrownieCakes

      1 year ago

      He can help me threaten scientists to make a light saber, then i could take a lot of them, make a crap ton of money, and happiness forever. Dont ruin my moment and say ill die

    • 0

      DanTDM

      1 year ago

      I would have a light saber like Luke SkyWalker!

    • 0

      NETHERDUCK

      1 year ago

      you are a smart lietle dude

    • 0

      Scarlette Foxx

      1 year ago

      You won the argument for me.

    • 1

      David Mills

      11 months ago

      1stwarrior the lightsaber could cut through morenthan food or people. It could cut through any metal, like a vault in the bank. And slash out the cameras. You could kill any witnesses

    • 0

      JamesxBoy101

      11 months ago

      No monkeys throw their poop's at people

    • 0

      JamesxBoy101

      11 months ago

      No monkeys throw their poop's at people

    • 0

      Alex

      11 months ago

      I got a lightsaber, yay-- Fuck, my arm!!!

    • 0

      ToboTEC

      11 months ago

      Yeah that would be great

    • 0

      The dancing sewar

      10 months ago

      Look at vesco

    • 0

      TheNetherDragon

      8 months ago

      You'd also be able to take the light saber and throw it at the monkey. Then see if it throws it back at you. lol

    • 0

      ttg raven

      7 months ago

      damn now i regret my answer

    • 0

      AustinIsNyanCat

      6 months ago

      My helper monkey would come with a machine that gives me anything i want and donates the stuff i don't win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win/win BA BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM I answered this question already and clicked the wrong thing ahh

    • 0

      Eshan Haider

      6 months ago

      THEN I WOULD KILL THE MONKEY WITH THE LIGHTSABER WITH MY FORM 4 OTARU

    • 0

      cp77

      5 months ago

      Lightsabers can cut through almost everything. Plus, just wear mandalorian iron armor

    • 0

      AlexG

      5 months ago

      I would stick my lightsaber up ur monkeys ass

    • 0

      iblvicnfly

      2 months ago

      "Luke, I am your father." -Darth Vader

    • 0

      i dont know

      3 weeks ago

      yeah

    • 0

      TheChosenOne

      2 hours ago

      My Helper monkey would beat the shit out of Darth Vader and then get me a lightsaber.

  • 34

    Stolkmen

    7 years ago

    Light Saber FTW! I would love to have one. Better than a monkey. They die. Sabers don't.

    • 7

      Freesemag

      4 years ago

      But what if you're drunk and accidentally cut off your own head?

    • 24

      Kyle Chainey

      4 years ago

      Then that's your dumb ass fault..

    • 1

      Ozzy

      4 years ago

      ^^ Because you chose the lightsaber..

    • 1

      Kristopher

      3 years ago

      Stolkmen, 3 years earlier, forgot the batteries to his Lightsaber.

    • 1

      PangestuJuan

      3 years ago

      Monkeys are sometime annoying

    • 0

      Cody Dudash

      3 years ago

      But, you need to know the force to use a lightsaber, so it would be useless.

    • 0

      Shulk

      1 year ago

      I don't need a lightsaber. I have the Monados power!

    • 0

      cp77

      5 months ago

      Kristopher, I have 4 fords for you: LIGHTSABERS DON'T NEED BATERIES

  • 21

    Rachel Anne Lastres

    4 years ago

    i would rather the elder wand -_-

  • 18

    Rythmbot

    5 years ago

    It's illegal to use what you use a lightsaber for. It's adorable to have monkey follow you around.

    • 8

      Tom Swift

      4 years ago

      Until it kills someone

    • 7

      berenkuntz

      4 years ago

      you think having a pet monkey isn't illegal!?

    • 2

      CJ K.

      4 years ago

      who says we're using the lightsaber for murder/other illegal activities?

    • 1

      MarkTheGr8

      4 years ago

      CJ K. In many places walking around with a 2.5 inch knife is illegal. I'm sure you wont be allowed to swing about with a lightsaber, unless it about 100% more light than saber.

    • 1

      AnduRo

      1 year ago

      Yes monkeys are cute

  • 17

    River_Song

    5 years ago

    you can always threaten a monkey to be your helper with the lightsaber

  • 13

    ZmanElete

    4 years ago

    Id have that helper monkey help me get a lightsaber

  • 11

    Rikujin

    5 years ago

    conquest

  • 8

    Tiki_Guy

    5 years ago

    I already have helper monkeys. They're called "friends"

  • 7

    Lisa Wolf

    4 years ago

    my helper monkey would be that intelligent, he would build a lightsaber

  • 7

    Horshwa

    5 years ago

    My monkey will steal your lightsabers bitches

  • 5

    lilyconn

    4 years ago

  • 5

    Storm

    4 years ago

    I showed the bitches my helper monkey. Bitches love helper mokeys

  • 5

    Philtrum

    5 years ago

    Use the lightsaber to steal a helper monkey. Take over the world. /nod

  • 5

    tzk132

    6 years ago

    you can buy a helper monkey

  • 4

    Not_A_Guy

    3 years ago

    My light saver could help me gain a helper monkey... And various other objects

  • 4

    Andrew Smith

    4 years ago

    "You've got a helper monkey?" "Yeah." ZZZZHHHH "That's cute."

    • 0

      choicemaker

      3 weeks ago

      umm so I can guess you would like to kill people and go to hell. sure a helper monkey is lame, but he said it could do anything, including getting me a job

  • 4

    Kantoran

    4 years ago

    Lightsabers are just horrible amputation accidents waiting to happen.

  • 4

    pirate

    4 years ago

    Really, how do you guys plan to use a light saber? To kill people and go to jail?

  • 4

    Ben Greene

    5 years ago

    Why would you want a lightsaber? You wouldn't even be able to wield it unless you are a jedi.

    • 0

      Cheating Bastard

      4 years ago

      Where did you hear that only Jedi's can use lightsabers?

    • 0

      Ozzy

      4 years ago

      General Grievous disagrees Ben... He uses 4 and hes a fucking robot

    • 0

      Miriam

      3 years ago

      Guys, guys... 1) Why would you not want a light saber?! 2) Sith can also skillfully use a light saber. Or anyone, basically. But maybe not that skillfully. 3) Greivous was a cyborg, not a mere robot.

    • 0

      AnduRo

      1 year ago

      Anyone can use the lighsaber

  • 4

    overtherainbow

    5 years ago

    PETA rules would allow you to do basically nothing with your monkey. Lightsaber would be bad ass.

    • 8

      MarkTheGr8

      5 years ago

      It's a helper monkey. Unless you're going to attempt to rape your monkey, PETA's got nothing to say. Like buying a dog, y'know?

    • 1

      Sean Dawson

      4 years ago

      @Mark I fucking passed out from laughter XD

  • 3

    Alexander Banne Banning

    3 years ago

    The monkey can just take the lightsaber from someone..

  • 3

    Schuman11

    4 years ago

    My helper monkey would make a light saber for me.

  • 3

    Mateusz Kraszewski

    4 years ago

    LIGHTSABRUUU!!

  • 3

    Nathan Derpahurdle

    4 years ago

    Fuck PETA. Support a real cause not a bunch of sensationalists that kill more animals than they save.

  • 3

    Nick Vachon

    4 years ago

    I would make irresponsible mistakes with a light saber

  • 3

    itsthejizz

    5 years ago

    hands down, force up

  • 3

    nashcali22

    5 years ago

    i would kill myself with a lightsaber in 1 second

  • 3

    Forealms

    5 years ago

    Apart from the fact PETA would not want me to have a helper monkey, lightsabers satisfy an urge that every kid since the 70s has had.

    • 0

      jakereeno

      4 years ago

      Not me (I'm 14)

    • 1

      will

      2 years ago

      PETA actually doesn't want people to have pets. They think it isn't the animals choice so it is wrong. So basically the helper monkey wouldn't do anything. I decided to ignore the whole peta thing when choosing because the asker clearly knows nothing about it.

  • 3

    mat

    6 years ago

    I have nothing to cut.

    • 9

      Ayan Ajgaliev

      4 years ago

      When a lightsaber appears in your hand, you will have a world to cut!

  • 1

    BRUH

    2 months ago

    Lightsaber FTW!

  • 0

    Harry-182

    1 day ago

    Helper monkey remote NOW!!!! It would be better to be the monkey

  • 0

    Tjmcnee

    2 days ago

    Da monkey can get me one.

  • 2

    ChadMakez

    1 year ago

    my monkey could do my schoolwork and homework.

  • 2

    Salma Ibrahim

    3 years ago

    Curious George!

  • 2

    Ramroc

    4 years ago

    What else do you need with a monkey?

  • 2

    Cross

    4 years ago

    I needed someone other than me to make people feel awkward like scratching my nutsack

  • 2

    Jo Kristoffer

    4 years ago

    I don't I actually read this dilemma. I just saw 'monkey' and pressed it.

  • 2

    Jmoo14

    4 years ago

    Who wouldn't wasn't a monkey

  • 2

    Zach Harris

    4 years ago

    Honestly how often are you going to use a lightsaber?

  • 2

    Leon8455

    5 years ago

    "I don't see why you need the FORCE when you have a freaking lightsaber that can cut through anything, all you need then is a list of demands" :3

    • 1

      Read the description.

      1 year ago

      You need the force to wield a lights anger properly, otherwise it's a metal rod with a laser beam waiting to amputate everything.

  • 2

    Jim

    7 years ago

    Dance Monkey!!

  • 1

    maxine

    6 months ago

    I LOVE MONKEYS

  • 1

    Taylor

    7 months ago

    My monkey would die the minute I got it

  • 0

    xXPrankster94Xx

    3 weeks ago

    fuk monkeys

  • 0

    choicemaker

    3 weeks ago

    I'd rather not kill people, it would be pointless, i'd go to hell, and I wouldn't be able to eat, sleep, or ever look at myself the same way again, even if he is my worst enemy, the worst my worst enemy did to me is accidentally spill a coffee on me and took some donuts from my house

  • 1

    Read the description.

    1 year ago

    *handjob*

  • 0

    fredelkop

    1 month ago

    Government will take your lightsaber.

  • 1

    AlexDude34

    1 year ago

    Imwoudl kill everyone with kylo rens lightsaber

  • 1

    illuminati

    1 year ago

    Light Sabers are all like SWOOSHHH

  • 0

    kavish

    1 month ago

    who dosent want a lightsaber

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