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Would you rather...

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Would you rather...

62% Have a lightsaber

38% Have a helper monkey

Would you rather...

62%
593,964 agree
Have a lightsaber
38%
367,579 disagree
Have a helper monkey

Hardest Choice Ever

added by Sam Dunn
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A legit Star Wars lightsaber or a helper monkey that would do anything for you (within reason and PETA rules).

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387 comments

  • 167

    Bahearn

    5 years ago

    My helper monkey would have a light saber so it's win/win.

    • 73

      ZmanElete

      2 years ago

      I dont even need the lightsaber. Monkeys are fricking cool

    • 51

      Vesko

      2 years ago

      My lightsaber would come with bonus ninja help monkeys. So it is win/win/win.

    • 31

      Peter

      2 years ago

      Sorry but I don't think a monkey can slice your enemies in half

    • 17

      Derrick Castaño Agu

      2 years ago

      helper monkey can grab a beer for me. Total win.

    • 15

      ossmosse

      2 years ago

      Yeah but really how many times will you actually use a lightsaber and not kill yourself?

    • 16

      Crazed3raser

      2 years ago

      once i saw that it had to be within PETA rules, i was like, nope

    • 24

      Diggler

      2 years ago

      PETA rules means he would do nothing for you.

    • 12

      Rickson Goncalves

      2 years ago

      yo you ever watch Malcolm in the middle, monkeys are pretentious evil homicidal demons

    • 3

      Licu Mihai

      2 years ago

      that what i thinked too!

    • 13

      Kyle

      2 years ago

      I killed your helper monkey with my light saber

    • 4

      Meemo2

      2 years ago

      umm fail.

    • 3

      Justus Smith

      2 years ago

      Why would your helper monkey have a lightsaber??? where did it say that?

    • 7

      1stwarror

      1 year ago

      No need for a lightsaber anyway. I mean, what are you going to do with it, kill people? You'll probably just use it to cut seasoning. It's not like it comes with force. A helper monkey on the other hand can be used for a lot more than culinary stuff.

    • 1

      jakereeno

      1 year ago

      It doesn't say the monkey can't talk so it's a win/win.

    • 8

      jakereeno

      1 year ago

      All I would need now is a pig and a segway and I've got myself a viral video

    • 6

      Foxy Boxes

      1 year ago

      1) Sell lightsaber to military. 2) Profit.

    • 2

      shane

      1 year ago

      well i would use the saber to cut down tress and own a lumber company = moar profit

    • 2

      Kristopher

      1 year ago

      Fuck this shit, my monkey has a machine gun, as in a PKP Pecheneg. MOOOOOONKEYS.

    • 3

      Varkarrus

      1 year ago

      The force is actually invisible helper monkeys

    • 2

      SpiderSilk

      1 year ago

      Marmosets are adorable! I want one!

    • 1

      UnderscoreZero

      1 year ago

      Bah, if you were caught with a lightsaber by police it'd be taken away or something.

    • 0

      that one guy

      1 year ago

      I kill your helper and you the take your lightsaber.

    • 2

      Cupcakes!

      11 months ago

      The monkey can get me a light saber so AGREED!

    • 0

      Ydanay

      11 months ago

      Or I could use a lightsaber to force someone to give me a monkey.

    • 1

      Joby Mcfarland

      9 months ago

      Because your monkey can get you a lightsaber

    • 1

      Cody Dudash

      8 months ago

      You need knowledge of the force to use a lightsaber, and I assume you only get the lightsaber, so it would just be a fancy paperweight.

    • 0

      nonclevername

      6 months ago

      A monkey with a light saber would kill itself within 20 minutes

    • 0

      Cassirinda

      6 months ago

      My helper monkey will murder everyone I hate

    • 0

      Somerandomwizard

      4 months ago

      Well MY LIGHT SABER HAS A HELPER MONKEY!!

    • 0

      Tasha xx

      3 months ago

      I WANNA MONKEY!!!!!!!! x

    • 0

      Jacob Dittmer

      2 months ago

      Your monkey would shit everywhere. Lightsabers don't shit

  • 17

    Stolkmen

    4 years ago

    Light Saber FTW! I would love to have one. Better than a monkey. They die. Sabers don't.

    • 4

      Freesemag

      2 years ago

      But what if you're drunk and accidentally cut off your own head?

    • 8

      Kyle Chainey

      2 years ago

      Then that's your dumb ass fault..

    • 0

      Ozzy

      1 year ago

      ^^ Because you chose the lightsaber..

    • 0

      Kristopher

      1 year ago

      Stolkmen, 3 years earlier, forgot the batteries to his Lightsaber.

    • 0

      PangestuJuan

      11 months ago

      Monkeys are sometime annoying

    • 0

      Cody Dudash

      8 months ago

      But, you need to know the force to use a lightsaber, so it would be useless.

  • 13

    ZmanElete

    2 years ago

    Id have that helper monkey help me get a lightsaber

  • 12

    Rythmbot

    2 years ago

    It's illegal to use what you use a lightsaber for. It's adorable to have monkey follow you around.

    • 5

      Tom Swift

      2 years ago

      Until it kills someone

    • 2

      berenkuntz

      1 year ago

      you think having a pet monkey isn't illegal!?

    • 0

      CJ K.

      1 year ago

      who says we're using the lightsaber for murder/other illegal activities?

    • 0

      MarkTheGr8

      1 year ago

      CJ K. In many places walking around with a 2.5 inch knife is illegal. I'm sure you wont be allowed to swing about with a lightsaber, unless it about 100% more light than saber.

  • 11

    Rachel Anne Lastres

    2 years ago

    i would rather the elder wand -_-

  • 11

    River_Song

    2 years ago

    you can always threaten a monkey to be your helper with the lightsaber

  • 6

    Rikujin

    2 years ago

    conquest

  • 6

    Horshwa

    3 years ago

    My monkey will steal your lightsabers bitches

  • 5

    Storm

    2 years ago

    I showed the bitches my helper monkey. Bitches love helper mokeys

  • 5

    Tiki_Guy

    2 years ago

    I already have helper monkeys. They're called "friends"

    • 0

      Vampn

      1 year ago

      And that`s why I chose the monkey ;(

  • 4

    Andrew Smith

    1 year ago

    "You've got a helper monkey?" "Yeah." ZZZZHHHH "That's cute."

  • 4

    lilyconn

    2 years ago

  • 3

    Mateusz Kraszewski

    2 years ago

    LIGHTSABRUUU!!

  • 3

    Lisa Wolf

    2 years ago

    my helper monkey would be that intelligent, he would build a lightsaber

  • 3

    Ben Greene

    2 years ago

    Why would you want a lightsaber? You wouldn't even be able to wield it unless you are a jedi.

    • 0

      Cheating Bastard

      2 years ago

      Where did you hear that only Jedi's can use lightsabers?

    • 0

      Ozzy

      1 year ago

      General Grievous disagrees Ben... He uses 4 and hes a fucking robot

    • 0

      Miriam

      10 months ago

      Guys, guys... 1) Why would you not want a light saber?! 2) Sith can also skillfully use a light saber. Or anyone, basically. But maybe not that skillfully. 3) Greivous was a cyborg, not a mere robot.

  • 3

    Philtrum

    2 years ago

    Use the lightsaber to steal a helper monkey. Take over the world. /nod

  • 3

    overtherainbow

    3 years ago

    PETA rules would allow you to do basically nothing with your monkey. Lightsaber would be bad ass.

    • 7

      MarkTheGr8

      2 years ago

      It's a helper monkey. Unless you're going to attempt to rape your monkey, PETA's got nothing to say. Like buying a dog, y'know?

    • 1

      Sean Dawson

      2 years ago

      @Mark I fucking passed out from laughter XD

  • 3

    mat

    3 years ago

    I have nothing to cut.

    • 8

      Ayan Ajgaliev

      2 years ago

      When a lightsaber appears in your hand, you will have a world to cut!

  • 3

    tzk132

    3 years ago

    you can buy a helper monkey

  • 2

    Not_A_Guy

    10 months ago

    My light saver could help me gain a helper monkey... And various other objects

  • 2

    Salma Ibrahim

    1 year ago

    Curious George!

  • 2

    Nathan Derpahurdle

    2 years ago

    Fuck PETA. Support a real cause not a bunch of sensationalists that kill more animals than they save.

  • 2

    Nick Vachon

    2 years ago

    I would make irresponsible mistakes with a light saber

  • 2

    Jo Kristoffer

    2 years ago

    I don't I actually read this dilemma. I just saw 'monkey' and pressed it.

  • 2

    Zach Harris

    2 years ago

    Honestly how often are you going to use a lightsaber?

  • 2

    Leon8455

    2 years ago

    "I don't see why you need the FORCE when you have a freaking lightsaber that can cut through anything, all you need then is a list of demands" :3

  • 2

    itsthejizz

    2 years ago

    hands down, force up

  • 2

    Forealms

    3 years ago

    Apart from the fact PETA would not want me to have a helper monkey, lightsabers satisfy an urge that every kid since the 70s has had.

  • 2

    Jim

    5 years ago

    Dance Monkey!!

  • 1

    ARADPLAUG

    7 months ago

    I was gonna go monkey, but then I realized it said 'within PETA rules'

  • 1

    Alexander Banne Banning

    9 months ago

    The monkey can just take the lightsaber from someone..

  • 1

    Zellona

    11 months ago

    Preeeeetty sure you need to use the force in order to use a light saber. Since I'm not a Jedi, it would be useless to me.

  • 1

    Micky

    11 months ago

    Dude. Its a fucking Lightsaber.

  • 1

    Hjortur

    1 year ago

    too lazy #SWAG

  • 1

    Edward

    1 year ago

    If I had a lightsaber, imagine the fortune I could make. Being able to reverse engineer it to figure out how to stop light would in itself make me a multi billionaire. Not counting being able to manufacture or duplicate them. I'd be able to buy an army of helper monkeys. Probably better than the one I would have originally received. Then, I would wreak havoc on the different countries of our world, enslaving those who oppose the fierce monkey soldiers and their dear overlord. I'd always have one helper monkey on hand to pick at my scalp, because, well, I like that s***. I'd also have incredibly attractive women fanning me with giant leaves and feeding me grapes.

  • 1

    iMustacheUaQuestion

    1 year ago

    MONKEY MAN

  • 1

    Eric Page

    1 year ago

    Who the hell would not want a monkey? hell I would probably chop my leg off if I had a lightsaber, at least with the monkey he can bring me beer.

    • 0

      pikachu

      1 year ago

      but if you have a light saber then you can threaten a man to give you his monkey then you'll have both

  • 1

    Jagan

    1 year ago

    The monkey would shit everywhere...

  • 1

    melissa

    1 year ago

    If you have ever seen Malcolm in the Middle you will know why i do not want a helper monkey

  • 1

    degaeil

    1 year ago

    Lightsaber = I'll help myself, thanks.

  • 1

    Mood For Thought

    1 year ago

    Monkey types while I speak. My dream come true.

  • 1

    Kantoran

    2 years ago

    Lightsabers are just horrible amputation accidents waiting to happen.

  • 1

    Cross

    2 years ago

    I needed someone other than me to make people feel awkward like scratching my nutsack

  • 1

    pirate

    2 years ago

    Really, how do you guys plan to use a light saber? To kill people and go to jail?

  • 1

    sittty

    2 years ago

    last i checked, a lightsaber could not smoke cigarettes and drive you around...

  • 1

    Urather16

    2 years ago

    Have fun accidentally cutting off ur hand when ur playing with it light saber

    • 0

      CJ K.

      1 year ago

      have fun getting bit by a stupid monkey.

  • 1

    rolf69

    2 years ago

    A lightsaber is dangerous. A monkey is friendly and funny

  • 1

    hey519

    2 years ago

    I would probably cut my own legs off

  • 1

    Roman Suslov

    2 years ago

    What would you do with a friggin' lightsaber? CUT YOUR ARM OFF?! Come one people. It would be much cooler if a monkey did your chores for you.

  • 1

    Pe Keen

    2 years ago

    How is this a question?

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