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Would you rather...

58% be near deaf

42% hear everything two minutes later

Would you rather...

58%
654,811 disagree
Be near deaf
42%
482,723 agree
Hear everything two minutes later

Hard of Hearing

added by Max Plate
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If you're near deaf, you cannot use a device to help you hear. Everything will be completely muffled for the rest of your life.

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318 comments

  • 160

    xereeto

    9 years ago

    Here's what I'd do to watch a movie: 1) Rip the movie 2) Extract the sound track and play it 3) Wait 2 minutes then play the movie with no sound 4) ??? 5) Profit!

    • 52

      Morde

      9 years ago

      Though on some media players there already is an option to delay or advance the audio, by however much time you specify, in case it's out of sync. Even easier.

    • 13

      xprimale

      8 years ago

      Profit? lmfao

    • 19

      Benjamin Filbert

      8 years ago

      Step 4 is stealing the underpants.

    • 1

      Utah G

      7 years ago

      now i get to hear the future

    • 1

      patsfanczar

      6 years ago

      VLC lets you just offset the sound

    • 3

      Brhett Friedrich

      6 years ago

      Yup, conversations would suck, but you could still watch videos, and music just start it early.

    • 9

      hussain

      6 years ago

      life is not just movies

    • 5

      VelocityRaptor28

      6 years ago

      FUCKING GENIOUS

    • 6

      AtomicCoconuts

      6 years ago

      but when your near deaf you can just turn up your fkin speakers and get the neighbors annoyed :D

    • 6

      Charlotte057

      6 years ago

      Being next to deaf people isn't so bad. :P

    • 4

      Deadpool

      6 years ago

      Wat?

    • 0

      CookieGuyBoi

      5 years ago

      This is genius

    • 3

      lolp

      5 years ago

      but, what if you are in the cinema, on a date? you can't ask the cinema owner to delay the sounds....

    • 3

      Donald Trump

      5 years ago

      I want to change my answer now, cuz I found a solution xD Get a voice-to-text thing, and get earplugs to block out the actual delayed speech. Then what people say will appear on a screen within seconds compared to minutes. Solved!

    • 1

      Ttrucker

      5 years ago

      DT Or just get a hearing aid.

    • 0

      Jürgen

      4 years ago

      Subtitles, bro

    • 0

      CapnAwesome05

      4 years ago

      It DID never say you couldn't use a devise that uses time travel to help hear! Loopholes! Not wormholes!

    • 0

      Evalgra

      4 years ago

      ^ Nope.

    • 0

      Eleanor

      3 years ago

      There is a great great thing called a hearing aid.

    • 0

      JzTH

      2 years ago

      4) Profit!

  • 37

    Corey

    9 years ago

    I lose my mind when a video's audio lags 1 second. 2 minutes? Fuck just put a bullet in my head. Plus you can get a hearing aid.

    • 20

      xereeto

      9 years ago

      extra info

    • 2

      lyzedekiel

      9 years ago

      I hate sound lag ! And I'll still be able to play music if I'm deaf.

    • 15

      JS37

      9 years ago

      "If you're near deaf, you cannot use a device to help you hear. Everything will be completely muffled for the rest of your life." do u evn read

    • 4

      stalebagelz

      6 years ago

      Make the audio play 2 minutes before it's supposed too, problem solved and videos synced

    • 1

      Loch

      5 years ago

      You can't if you read the i thing on it, it tells you that you can not use any hearing aids to help you hear

  • 21

    Horshwa

    10 years ago

    I'm deaf on one ear, trust me its terrible, the problems it has caused me so far and i'm still young... with the latter you can still communicate through writing, also i love music

    • 44

      tanner

      9 years ago

      Right, I forgot you can't communicate through writing if you're deaf in one ear.

    • 2

      [deleted]

      9 years ago

      Yeah my mom can hear out of one ear either but there are things like hearing aids, and you can still hear people when they say stuff

    • 9

      Jishushika White

      9 years ago

      My bro is under 21 and is nearly deaf and blind. It's horrible, but he's still going through college like a normal kid. I'm proud of him! And you!

    • 18

      Alvo Razzi

      9 years ago

      Learn lip reading. or a little of it. Shit I still want to learn it and I can hear fine! That would be awesome! You could see what people were talking about even though it was too loud to hear or they were far away at a party.

    • 2

      Connor

      7 years ago

      "Hey, wanna have sex?" 2 minutes later... "Sure! Wait, where did you go?"

    • 0

      XxEpic_ShadowxX

      5 years ago

      Me too bro I'm only 11 and I feel like I'm already dead but I'm near it and I barely hear anyone say anything :(

    • 0

      XxEpic_ShadowxX

      5 years ago

      Me too bro I'm only 11 and I feel like I'm already dead but I'm near it and I barely hear anyone say anything :(

    • 0

      XxEpic_ShadowxX

      5 years ago

      Plus it also says you can't use a device to hear

    • 0

      XxEpic_ShadowxX

      5 years ago

      Plus it also says you can't use a device to hear

    • 0

      XxEpic_ShadowxX

      5 years ago

      Plus it also says you can't use a device to hear

  • 13

    Smosh

    9 years ago

    If I picked hearing 2 mins later. Me: Hi Ian: Hi 1 min later Me: WhÀt?!?

  • 10

    Ross ThunderStroke Heyman

    9 years ago

    I'm already deaf…

  • 9

    Dooblydoo

    9 years ago

    I'd rather have the near deaf experience

  • 6

    Sarah

    9 years ago

    Sign language!

  • 6

    azarakh

    9 years ago

    if you hear things 2 minutes later, will you hear the guy screaming when his car already passed on your face?

    • 1

      wartpig

      9 years ago

      but you could still hear things with normal clarity. just a delay. the other option is pretty much only muffeled sounds only. wanna hear a song sorry. i just gotta start the song and wait 2 min

  • 5

    Jurr

    10 years ago

    Two minutes is enough to severely limit your options for almost every aspect of your life. Being near deaf only affects a decently sized portion of your life. Both roughly in equivalent severity.

  • 4

    Guillermo Rangel

    9 years ago

    You can hear the radio, go to classes (although you may find it difficult to participate)

  • 3

    Olivia BeepBoop Evan

    9 years ago

    If you're near deaf and someone shouted stop you'd probably hear them if you heard them 2 minutes later you wouldn't have know there was a bus coming when you walking into the road and hit it you. That's my reasoning. Also, hearing aids and shouting at people.

  • 2

    Malex

    6 years ago

    I already do.

  • 2

    rjajaj

    7 years ago

    I have deaf parents and I am hearing also I know sign language

  • 2

    LordCatnip

    8 years ago

    Y'all don't seem to understand. Deaf and near deaf people probably know sign language. Sign language is the coolest language ever.

  • 2

    Anna

    9 years ago

    This could actually be a superpower if you think about it. Or at least I could cheat on tests/quizzes, 2 minutes before class read the answers out loud to myself.

  • 2

    katimonkey13

    9 years ago

    Well this way i can at least know what the fuck is goin on

  • 0

    Joe

    1 month ago

    This is what hearing aids are for retards.

  • 1

    shadowthewolf

    6 years ago

    well i have heterochromia and wear glasses since I'm blind so what could be worse than that. obviously losing both your parent and slowly every family member dies. yep that my freaking life someone please end my suffering please.

  • 1

    One Blue

    7 years ago

    I'd pick deaf and save myself a lot of heartbreak. At least being near deaf wouldn't give you the tantalizing, but never realizable, experience of feeling like you could actually have meaningful social interactions.

  • 1

    Ben Sten

    7 years ago

    person 1: hey nice outfit. person 2:*walks away* person 1:??? person 2: *comes back 2 minutes later* THANKS. person 1: um, you're welcome. person 2: ...WHAT??

  • 1

    Simon Lefevre

    8 years ago

    I hate lag!

  • 1

    Blarg!

    9 years ago

    Hahaha "Watch out for that bus!"

  • 1

    urdamnawkward

    9 years ago

    Grumpy cat!!!

  • 1

    encephalovore

    9 years ago

    Guys, fyi psychology this is really disorienting. Also, psychologically, you habituate to it... so you'd eventually probably perceive things as normal again. I regret my decision.

  • 1

    Yoda578

    9 years ago

    There's something called a hearing aid

    • 1

      Michelle Lewell

      9 years ago

      'If you're near deaf, you cannot use a device to help you hear. Everything will be completely muffled for the rest of your life.'

  • 1

    Jesse Williams

    9 years ago

    Hearing 2 minutes later is better than not at all. You can still speak through writing/sign language and get the benefits of being able to listen to music and watch television(with modifications).

  • 1

    BMR

    9 years ago

    Aka "lag"

  • 1

    Kendall Walls

    9 years ago

    I'm not really sure about the severity of this deafness so I'll be optimistic with it

  • 1

    Bob

    9 years ago

    Two minutes pretty much equals deaf, the information will be useless once you here it. You can speak signlanguage for gods sake!

  • 0

    Ron Andante

    4 months ago

    PSYCHIC!

  • 0

    silke

    5 months ago

    then ill probaply know sighn language :)

  • 0

    nogor

    1 year ago

    this is hard just like my penis

  • 0

    mAx

    1 year ago

    people are deaf soooooooooo

  • 0

    Nibonium

    1 year ago

    Hearing aids.

  • 0

    yourmomgeilolxd

    1 year ago

    im already near deaf it's fine hearing aids are cool

  • 0

    jaka

    2 years ago

    ping 300

  • 0

    Soviet_Ferret

    2 years ago

    person:Im DROWNDING me:... (2 min later) me: I'LL SAVE YO- oh...

  • 0

    andrew

    2 years ago

    I'm ping spoofer!..

  • 0

    I’m Part Giraffe

    2 years ago

    I ignore everyone for 2 minutes already

  • 0

    Yeetlord

    2 years ago

    Hearing aids?

  • 0

    Anime Wolf

    2 years ago

    djfauiwehfkjawtagsfsdr

  • 0

    PIZZA GOD DAM IT!

    2 years ago

    It would b like that character in steven universe

  • 0

    D_YellowMadness

    2 years ago

    I hate that the descriptions are off screen. The description totally changes my opinion for 2 reasons. Actually, never mind. I could learn mouth reading if my hearing is muffled & the muffled sounds would let me know when I need to read lips. Still, it's a ridiculous design flaw.

  • 0

    BotMan

    2 years ago

    You can use those $3,000 super hearing aids.

  • 0

    DarklingGolem50

    2 years ago

    Ask VLC or Kodi to adjust the Audio Sync

  • 0

    john1996

    2 years ago

    I'll be deaf, but I'll only be deaf for 2 minutes!

  • 0

    Luke

    3 years ago

    Hearing Aids Bitch

  • 0

    [deleted]

    3 years ago

    I meant to say "hearing" in my last comment.

  • 0

    [deleted]

    3 years ago

    I rather have good vision than poor vision, so yes.

  • 0

    TheMarionick

    3 years ago

    So I'm Internet Explorer but as a person

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