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- You would rather be paid the same amount to be slapped 10 times in the face. than pay to see a female comedian..
- If you were an American, you would rather an atheist than be a muslim.
- You would rather spend one night spent passionately with Rosie O'Donnell than have your two front teeth pulled out.
- You would rather Wake up in a public bathroom with a handful of singles and a really lazy eye than Wake up in a bathtub full of ice missing a kidney.
- You would rather Be a sports star than Be a celebrated academic.