You could only take off your pants for the purpose of using the bathroom in an outhouse.
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- You would rather Live happily ever after with your favorite movie/TV show hero than Live happily ever after with your favorite romance novel hero.
- If you were staving, you would rather eat your own hand than eat a loved ones eye.
- You would rather get a free appetizer with every meal than get a free dessert with every meal.
- You would rather Only smell like poop than Only smell poop.
- You would rather Have every commercial be an annoying Geico ad for the rest of your life than Have every commercial be a Verizon "Can you hear me now?" ad for the rest of your life.