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- You would rather spend one night spent passionately with Rosie O'Donnell than have your two front teeth pulled out.
- You would rather Own a pocket-sized elephant than Own a pocket-sized giraffe.
- You would rather Actually have to laugh out loud every time you type LOL, haha, lmao, etc than Always have to replicate the face of any emoticon you use.
- You would rather wear nothing but shorts than wear nothing but jeans.
- You would rather Only be able to laugh at intricate Star Trek jokes than Only be able to laugh at violently racist jokes.