The focus would be on raising the children and everyday home events.
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- For the rest of your life, you would rather live in a library, where books are your only form of entertainment than live in a prison cell, where you have access to any channel on TV.
- You would rather not watch TV at all than be forced to watch TV all the time.
- You would rather Have to learn about every date in history and why they were important. than Have to learn how to walk again.
- You would rather Live with the Amish than Live in a nudist colony.
- You would rather Be allergic to elderly people than Be allergic to babies.
Jim
I have had it with these mutha fuckin' dishes in this mutha fuckin' sink!!
Dustin Adams
+1 for you my friend.
GENOCIDEGeorge
Sold me.
Rohan
Made my choice.
Nathaniel Ballinger
^^SOLD
insert.a.sexy.name.
Hey dude drive the kids to school -ight let's go "Ada viny tokyo Ada vini shake shake shake" 2 hour drive takes 10 minutes
maxwell1981
Say "why" again! Say 'why" again! I dare you!
[CLEVER NAME]
Clean those muthafuckin dishes!
Jose Luis Zaragoza
hahahahahahah
Phantom L
DOES THE BULLY LOOK LIKE A BITCH?
Lindsey LeForge
So much yes
Jerome
THE MOTHERFUCKING SANDWICH WIFE, THE MOTHERFUCKING SANDWICH
Some Guy
I actually lol'd.
Andres Linares
I've had it with these muthafuckin bedtime stories from this muthafuckin book.
Bajsklutten
I live for that shit
Jakeyboyyyy
I DONT REMEMBER ASKING YOU A GOD DAMN THING
Survivor
we will name our child luke then he will say Luke I Am your father
Mysticbutterflies
Just because of this comment I almost wish i could reconsider.
Cody Dudash
I think you just won the internet. XD
Cody Dudash
"Did you steal some cookies from the cookie jar?" "What ain't no country I ever heard of, they speak English in what?" "ENGLISH MUTHAFUCKA DO YOU SPEAK IT!?!?!?!"
Jacob Dittmer
Go the fuck to sleep!
Leninist
My kids aren't going to be saying "what" anytime soon.
Miriam
@Survivor You're thinking of James Earl Jones (the black guy who voiced Darth Vader). Samuel L Jackson is the black guy who screams a lot.
GeneralBoomer
I get Director Fury. I win
Headsmush
If you're a straight male you just have to pick one.
nerd man 354
Language!!
lolwut
Lmao
georgiagrxce
GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP
georgiagrxce
GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP
nicol
ture
bear from the revenant
ENGLISH MOTHA FUCKA. DO YOU SPEAK IT.
bluejay17
@maxwell1981 WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
zhubwat
You made me regret my descision. XD
EParKer1211
Have you seen the Pacifier? And i want to live with Groot
Avery
Oh I'm sorry, did I break your concentration?
Zac
Samuel Jackson: "Say 'why' again! Say 'why' again! I dare you..I double dare you!" Son: But Dad, why do I have to do it? Samuel Jackson: (Shots son in the leg)
Yo mama
Problem solved...get a DISHWASHER!
Gaxxy
Yes.
Heroboy99
Prefered Speedy Drive to Their School and get Instantly Popular with the Kids
sandman_gaming
I just saw a cheesy dieper ad and that makes me choose this
warface363
haha i can see samuel as a field trip chaperone... "IM TIRED OF THESE MOTHER FUCKING KIDS ON THIS MOTHERFUCKING BUS!"
nerd man 354
Language!!
thatguyinwhite
nerd man 354 its english
SleazyMcStevens
I feel as though raising kids with Sam Jackson would make parent-teacher night VERY interesting.
TheMuffinguy
Does the teacher LOOK like a bitch!?
babypounder 33
Shut the hell up you dirty nigger
theapplegator
he could read them "go the fxxk to sleep" everynight
xgothasaurusxx
Vin Diesel is quite attractive, so not only would MAKING babies with him be enjoyable, but raising them would be easy as pie. Our children would behave because - Well look at the man, would any of you want to break any rules with him around? I think not. Plus, Samuel L. Jackson is annoying and he'd want to call all our kids by their full names ALL the time. Ryan R. Jackson! Matthieu K. M. Jackson! Jaylene J. M. Jackson! NO THANK YOU. Diesel ALL the way.
Jose Luis Zaragoza
but samuel l jackson is funny hahaha
spinax22
I have had it with these mutha fuckin paragraphs in this mutha fuckin question!
HaileyBailey2024
Please say yo a girl...
Marius Fredriksen
SAY WHAT AGAIN I DARE YOU
Gringomiester
SAY WHAT AGAIN I DARE YOU
nick
what?
Alex
Ohhhhhhhhhh!
Grewyd
I double dare you!
[deleted]
Haven't you guys ever seen the Pacifier? DUH
Hayley Cole
exactly what I was thinking!!
Lonna
That's why I chose it!
little nga
no...
ZJBlah
Exactly.
MyCotingaBird
I almost did, but I am not into Disney films, so I did not get to see the whole thing.
ernskiii
+1 for jim.
SAUCY SCOTSMAN
I....cannot. Simply cannot, understand how someone would pick Vin Diesel. 1) Fuck Vin Diesel. 2) IT'S MOTHERFUCKING SAMUEL L. JACKSON.
Jose Luis Zaragoza
vin diesel is a badass but samuel l jackson would make an interesting parent
Lemir
Because of his movie The Pacifier.
Yo mama
I know right! Yeah, the pacifier is quite an interesting movie
youat2inthemorning
my kids will be HAWT
TheMasterLogic
Samuel L Jackson isnt gay, so wed be like bros
firehawk2324
Oh that voice. Gives me shivers.
deadpixel
Only if he had the Pitch Black eyes.
Max_Steak
D&D NIGHT ERRY DAY.
SteveKobbs
I know right?
Aidan Mazerolle
Once they're teenagers, he will ask them to say "What" again. He'll dare them. He'll double dare them. Motherfucker.
spinax22
LOL you just made my day.
Derp
Lol nice
Derek
Sam Jackson's wisdom knows no bounds.
RSPedestrian
Maybe they could learn to be Jedi's!
Sebastian
Didn't we already have a movie semi-based on this?
smrzan
ENGLISH MOTHAFUCKA DO YOU SPEAK IT
Austinmthomas
"Is this your son"-me . "DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH"-Sameul
OMGKitties
Family would be strict. No one can ask a "what" question. XD
Loki Laufeypoop
Then at night, "Ask your dad." "GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP."
Yo mama
Manners child what if yo mama saw this
Fuzzly
Samuel: Get me my glasses! Me: Which one? Samuel: The one that says Bad Motherfucker on it!
angryharbaugh
Nighty night motherfuckers
nerd man 354
Language
mokeyflame
Oh, you're having problems with your homework? Here, let me see*tears up sheet* MOTHA FUCKA DO YOUR GOT DAMN HOMEWORK ON YOUR OWN, AND I DONT GIVE HALF A SHIT IF ITS RIPPED UP DO IT ANYWAY YOU FUCK
Alec
Get an F again! I dare you! I double dare you!
Crissy
This was a tough choice.
Richardel Leang
I know right?
Yo mama
Not really
Serj
Child's first words: "ENGLISH MOTHERFUCKER, I CAN SPEAK IT"
Leadamp
Imagine Samuel L. Jackson teaching children how to speak. "English mother fucker, DO YOU SPEAK IT"
Mike Cooper
"Go the fuck to sleep."
projects8an
@Warface363 I really did lol at that
AhNoOkay
My fucking spouse would be Samuel Jackson? I'M DATING A FUCKING JEDI BITCHES. I'M MORE POWERFUL THAN ANY OTHER JEDI!
Paris
id have little baby groots
jake
The road trips would be awesome
Andrean Tantiono
I would not like it if my kid said "motherfucker".
Adrian Imsorryidonthaveamiddle
Lil muthafuckas, do ya' homework!
Ionut Sabau
because he can read stories for kids: www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fyjg5uVdhm8
Joseph Broseph
Mace Fury would be a BADASS dad. The Avengers 2 is supposed to come out in 2015. Just checked his imdb and it also announced Captain America 2: the winter soldier. He's supposed to be Pat Novak in the RoboCop remake
tuxedotuna
Say what again, I dare you, I fucking dare you
JNmeister
Vin Diesel because of that movie, the Pacifier.
whitappleseed
Oh hell yes. That movie is the bomb!
Dakonza
I thought Jedi aren’t allowed to have family....
Stargatedalek
Would absolutely be Samuel L Jacksons maid
bwar
i need sex plzzz
Zach Cunningham
k
EpicLOLGamerXD
Do i have to be gay?
MyCotingaBird
This is America, of course you can be gay! But "have to?" Do not pressure yourself to be gay if you are not.
Rohan
Vin deasel will make my kids strong
I don't care bout u
I don't know anything about them tho
A. Edwards
Me neither
FoxythePirate
I'm a Boy and I Don't Wantto be [email protected] So IPicked Red Cuz it Mah Fave Color. :3
FoxythePirate
I'm a Boy and I Do NOT Want to be GAY. So I Picked Red Cuz it Mah Fave Color. :3
Sam Winter
100% yeah