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If you could go back in time and sign the Declaration of Independence, would you rather...

62% Sign your real name

38% Sign using a ridiculous pseudonym (I.C. Wiener, Mike Rotch, etc.)

If you could go back in time and sign the Declaration of Independence, would you rather...

62%
805,671 agree
Sign your real name
38%
497,346 disagree
Sign using a ridiculous pseudonym (I.C. Wiener, Mike Rotch, etc.)

Give me liberty...

added by Derek
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830 comments

  • 340

    Derek

    10 years ago

    I feel like teaching that part of history would get infinitely more amusing.

    • 252

      insert.a.sexy.name.

      7 years ago

      And this very important supporter "big dick candy rainbow farts the 3rd"

    • 43

      max69

      7 years ago

      Sing my name as big ass the 3rd

    • 18

      RavingLunatic

      7 years ago

      That British Chick Noone Likes

    • 12

      Brandon Lee

      7 years ago

      does rainbow dash counts?

    • 62

      Toolbox

      7 years ago

      I'd sign it as Hugh Gerection

    • 118

      Zach Brown

      7 years ago

      You'd be one of the most famous and respected people of our nations history, especially if you signed it big. And you'd throw all of that away...To make your name Drew P. Wiener.... Society today....

    • 10

      gassypoots

      7 years ago

      Chuck Norris

    • 5

      dawson

      7 years ago

      chuck norris

    • 17

      Max

      7 years ago

      Some suggestions: Mike Rotch, Hugh Jass,Seymour Butz, Amanda Huggenkiss, Ivana Tinkle, Heywood U. Cuddleme, Drew P. wiener and more on this website: www.snpp.com/guides/moe_calls.html

    • 24

      Cryptophobic

      7 years ago

      "Hello, My name is:" Lord Shaggy McFuckarse

    • 14

      Ana Iero-Way

      7 years ago

      Zach, you'd be fucking dead, who cares...it doesn't matter who did it, but that it was done, and do you realize Mike Rotch would probably more well known than the rest of the people who signed it

    • 10

      Loopholemania

      7 years ago

      Then I could write it before John Hancock and take up the entire space then people would say I'll give it the old Chris Cobb

    • 14

      Alex Sandro Katamadze

      6 years ago

      Ho Lee Fak

    • 8

      alfislegend

      6 years ago

      I'd be Mike Hunt for sure.

    • 5

      Derek

      6 years ago

      And it wouldn't even matter because I signed my real name too, so you'd have your name on it too!

    • 6

      Laura McCafferty

      6 years ago

      brandon, Yes, but if you did, Rainbow Dash{pony} wouldn't be called that, maybe Blitz or Zoom...idk

    • 6

      Mysticbutterflies

      6 years ago

      Seriously to all the blues why are you making a big deal out of it. You'll be dead anyways so you won't get any benefits from being famous now. Plus most likely the people of that time period will kno

    • 14

      Cody Dudash

      6 years ago

      I would prefer to be sitting in history class and we read the declaration of Independence, and then everybody just stares at me in disbelief. Especially since, as far as I know, I am the only person with the name "Cody Alan Dudash" in recorded history.

    • 8

      Glaceon999

      6 years ago

      Sign my real name, then A.K.A. Lorde Glaceon III of Arcadia Incarnated, Rabuta with a Realitywarping Pencil.

    • 0

      ThePyro123

      6 years ago

      some has actually changed their name to "lotta hardon" so i would probably use that

    • 5

      Eae Ellcott

      5 years ago

      I.P. Freely

    • 3

      Common Sense

      5 years ago

      Chuck Norris!!!

    • 2

      Common Sense

      5 years ago

      Chuck Norris!!!

    • 1

      DemonicLegend

      4 years ago

      I get it mike rotch my crotch lol. your pretty clever

    • 5

      FSK95

      4 years ago

      Respect 'Murica!!!!

    • 6

      DarkPhoenix999

      4 years ago

      Im European so i would just troll america

    • 2

      Ruby Rose

      4 years ago

      I would sign as Edward Cullen XD

    • 1

      Ruby Rose

      4 years ago

      Aka my father

    • 7

      Daniel

      4 years ago

      "Bush did 9/11" xD

    • 1

      Heroboy99

      4 years ago

      "Hey My name's Hero. H. Hero" (Hero as Middle name)

    • 0

      gbox4

      4 years ago

      You just made my day

    • 3

      grimreaper654321

      4 years ago

      And this is our biggest suporter Dixie Normus

    • 1

      ☯Chilled☯

      4 years ago

      I hear you @Zack Brown I would be famous asf if I sign my real name

    • 0

      sourcupcake123

      4 years ago

      but i would be eternally remembered

    • 4

      Solwagon

      4 years ago

      Now kids, the declaration of independence was signed by PoopydoopyIpissondogscatmexicandinner.

    • 1

      Joshua Grey

      4 years ago

      Yet for some reason, this is the lower choice.

    • 0

      LinkBird

      4 years ago

      after reading max69s comment i regret the sh*t out of my choice

    • 2

      Holden Erikson

      4 years ago

      Holden Mcgroin

    • 0

      Thomas Moran

      4 years ago

      Dickens cider

    • 1

      Axileoni

      4 years ago

      Biggus Dickus...*cricket sound* anyone? .....Anyone? ... uuh ANYONE?

    • 3

      Sharders

      4 years ago

      *reads the people who signed it* JOHN CENA, Captain General Richard Ravager III (Team Four Star reference), and D-D-DONALD TRUMP?! Crap he beat me to it! curse you Trump! HUUUUUUUUUUUGEEEEE *Trump flies away with a small loan of a million dollars*.

    • 3

      xXBrodoSwagginsXx

      4 years ago

      Before John Hancock signs his name, write Hugh Jainis in the biggest font that fits on the page.

    • 5

      Mr. Highland cow

      4 years ago

      my name would be Adolf Hitler

    • 1

      CaptainDemozan

      4 years ago

      Damn it. I want to change my answer now.

    • 1

      QuanDuck

      4 years ago

      I think it would be cool to see Todd Lerfondler in there.

    • 2

      PickPocketPocky

      4 years ago

      Hugh Janus, Dean Gulberry, and Phil Mahooters.

    • 1

      7 russians

      4 years ago

      there are so many Bernards I would rather sign it as the pussydestroyerultimateninja42069 I picked the wrong one

    • 1

      I_Like_Cows42

      4 years ago

      I would sign "Donald Trump's Toupee"

    • 0

      bryanbas

      4 years ago

      Donald trump signed the document.

    • 5

      Ender

      4 years ago

      what would i sign for someone to teach: 420BLAZEIT360NOSCOPESWEGMASTERSLITHERIOAGARIODIEPIOMOUNTAINDOODOOILLUMINATTICHIPSOBAMAANDDONALDTRUMPSTOUPEANDSPRAYONTANWASHERE

    • 0

      Wordflux10

      4 years ago

      People would know that you were a time traveler, and who doesn't want to be the source of all conspiracy theories?

    • 1

      thunderlight2004

      3 years ago

      Dick Stroker signed the Declaration of Independence now.

    • 1

      M02V

      3 years ago

      Signed by, Deez Nuts III

    • 1

      #DerpMaster21

      3 years ago

      I would sign it under You Mom's Asshole

    • 1

      Alpha493

      3 years ago

      JOHN CENA!!!

    • 1

      Price511

      3 years ago

      Harry Bals

    • 0

      Superkollin 7

      3 years ago

      I would use a ridiculous name and sign it bigger than John Hancock here's why: You know how people say "Give it your John Hancock" Now it'll change to "Give it your Mike Crotch"

    • 0

      Luna

      3 years ago

      I would sign the cra cra grandma with big craps

    • 1

      LorenzoBolla

      3 years ago

      Teacher: "So children, who singed the declaration of independence? " Student: "it was Stalindidnothingwrongthekulaksdeservedit, ......

    • 2

      The Stupid Rock COpy

      3 years ago

      Teacher: "So children, who singed the declaration of independence? " Student: "it was circlearoundcirclenobodycaresaboutatallbecauseitsjustanunimportantcirclelolcircleisnowfamouswhattheheckwhoisstanwhoami"

    • 0

      Sweetroll

      3 years ago

      @Cody Dudash, oh no, emo minecraft kid

    • 1

      Rosimai

      3 years ago

      Name all the people who signed the declaration of independence: Thomas Jefferson, John HandyCock, Mexican Elizabeth Donald Trump FUCK THE POLICE, Anarchist motherfucker

    • 0

      RandomGuy1466

      3 years ago

      Seymour Butz, Oliver Closeoff, I.P.Freely, Jock Strap.

    • 1

      ZTrekGaming

      3 years ago

      id jsut put my phone number with the wordxs 'fuckl me please'

    • 1

      Alexa

      3 years ago

      Star lee = Starly, a pokeemonn

    • 1

      Alexa

      3 years ago

      S.E.Cie = sexy

    • 0

      Spider Guy

      2 years ago

      i regret choosing blue now...

    • 0

      [deleted]

      2 years ago

      Hey Derek, do you know how long it takes for a submitted question to get published?

    • 0

      Miguel Yañez

      2 years ago

      signed Phillip on these nuts

    • 0

      Jonny

      1 year ago

      I'd sign PewDiePie

    • 0

      speedy666666

      1 year ago

      signed "byadick"

    • 0

      yeetboi70

      1 month ago

      signed spongeboy me bob the 3rd

    • 0

      yeetboi70

      1 month ago

      @ender that's a big name

  • 61

    Esteban

    8 years ago

    already did, John Hancock

  • 54

    Ernq

    8 years ago

    people won't remember your common name anyways, but if you go down in history as the guy who signed as Dick Nipplegobbler you'd be a legend

  • 41

    Username

    7 years ago

    Moe Lester

  • 34

    Derek

    10 years ago

    And while it's not really a play on words or anything, I'd sign as Dudley Fartknocker.

  • 30

    Dopaminecloud

    7 years ago

    I would sign.. Batman

  • 28

    andres562

    7 years ago

    I put dick hurts so that way they ask whose dick hurts in the future

    • 4

      i.c. weiner

      7 years ago

      This makes me want to change my answer now

    • 0

      Oreo

      7 years ago

      Lol that would be really funny

    • 2

      naomi

      7 years ago

      OMG i cant stop laughing XD

    • 0

      sourcupcake123

      4 years ago

      dick hertz is a better spelling, more common last name. still pronounced the same as hurts

  • 23

    Aren

    8 years ago

    Will U. Suckit

  • 20

    King_Cunt_Fucker

    8 years ago

    I'd put my username.

  • 15

    totopher

    8 years ago

    Most of America can't remember all the people that signed the Declaration, but if I signed Hugh Jazz, they would remember... Heh heh

  • 15

    Aj Plourde

    8 years ago

    John footpenis

  • 15

    killmenow666

    10 years ago

    i made one of my friends names on face book "mike hawk" and she doesnt know how to change it XD

  • 14

    Muhammad

    8 years ago

    Semore Asses, Mike Litoris, Mike Hunt, or Mike Hawk

  • 10

    Cris zuniga

    7 years ago

    If you sign your real name, no one will know it was you or believe you, why not just make everyone laugh and feel good inside? but then again, there could be a painting of you that could help convince people...

  • 10

    agon

    7 years ago

    wtf, if you signed you'r real name nothing would happen, i mean it's not like you would be famous or anything in you'r time, it would just be like as if you were named after him it's bullcrap

  • 9

    Dragonbeon

    7 years ago

    Hello there! Signed, The Doctor

  • 9

    cass

    8 years ago

    although i would rather use my real name i would use Harry Potter for my pseudonym (its ridiculous cause im a girl

    • 9

      PedoBear

      7 years ago

      then you wouldnt be allowed to sign, women were considered inferior in that time period, they wouldnt even let you into the convention

    • 9

      cass

      7 years ago

      then i would dress as a man sign my real name and later reveal that i was a girl after making my amazing opinion clear and women would be considered equals because of me

    • 3

      snoopy1556

      7 years ago

      ... OH COME ON!!! Wouldn't you wanna go down in history as a stupid name? It would make history more interesting

    • 1

      cass

      7 years ago

      no i wouldnt and wouldnt COMPLETE CHANGING WOMENS RIGHTS be a little more interesting then putting something stupid?? thats right.

    • 6

      Spirit1920

      7 years ago

      No, women still wouldn't be considered equal. You'd just be shamed and your signature would be crossed out or something.

    • 1

      alfislegend

      6 years ago

      Come on, don't be the person who passed up writing Ron Jeremy on the declaration of

    • 0

      Connor MacLaughlan

      4 years ago

      Sorry Cass ut you wouldn't do much in that time period, you would probably be another feminist wanting equality in their eyes, and they would tell you that "All MEN are created equal" and brush you off like the rest, it's just the cold truth

    • 1

      Mindfoocker25

      4 years ago

      People need to brush up on history, women had a huge role in America's founding. They just given the credence when it came time to write the history books.

  • 6

    Dmc169

    6 years ago

    I would've wrote Pat Mygroin, Barry Mcockenher, Al Cohol, or Mike Hawk

  • 6

    D'vaughn Clarke

    8 years ago

    Ben Dover

  • 6

    Katie

    8 years ago

    Clicked the wrong one.

  • 5

    [deleted]

    8 years ago

    I'll be famous!

    • 12

      Riley

      7 years ago

      People would assume that it is a coincidence that you have the same name.

  • 4

    Bro Strider

    7 years ago

    No one would remember my name unless I did something amazing to go with it. But they would definitely remember Harry P. Innus.

  • 4

    Sarah

    7 years ago

    I would sign as "Is A. Dick" right after someone else's name.

  • 4

    Michaila Ward

    8 years ago

    Mike Hunt ;)

  • 3

    JEagle9

    4 years ago

    Yukan Fucov

  • 3

    Ganwan

    4 years ago

    C. Moore Butts

  • 3

    Leah

    4 years ago

    I would sign as Holden Mcgroin, Anita Cocke, Pat Magroin or Hugh G. Rection xD

    • 0

      Foxyvsfreddy

      3 years ago

      But what about Hugh Mungus? Or Harre A. Embe, or Chris P. Nutts?

  • 3

    littliliar

    7 years ago

    why is this even a question :/

  • 3

    BStewy

    8 years ago

    Everyone would just think it was a coincidence that you have the same name as the person who signed it. No one would believe you. May as well have fun.

  • 2

    Pyrocynical

    3 years ago

    History class: -Kids, what was the name of the person who signed the DoI? -Hugh Mungus. -HUGH MUNGUS WHAT? HUGH MUNGUS WHAT?

  • 2

    DucksFanMariota

    4 years ago

    Harry Baals

  • 2

    ThatOneSmallAsian

    4 years ago

    FUCK ME SIDEWAYS agrees to the terms

  • 2

    Loki

    4 years ago

    Why! EVERYONE WHY!

  • 2

    Ben

    5 years ago

    Also if you signed your real name you'd be arrested for messing with the paper in the present and for messing with time in the future

  • 2

    mermaid the siren

    6 years ago

    'Signed, Sir Ben Dover' now read that aloud to an audience.

  • 2

    Almin Zukic

    6 years ago

    I don't give a shit bout 'merica so MR. Bigdick McFuckanho

  • 2

    Hockey CardBreaks

    6 years ago

    Both Fake Names Created By Matt Groening!

  • 2

    DerpyJoe

    6 years ago

    If I sign my real name then my ancestors might have been too famous and snooty to marry my other ancestors, meaning that I wouldn't have been born to sign it, and without signing it I wouldn't have been able to cause myself into not being born. I hate parodoxes. Plus I want people to say "And right here just give me your Derpy Joe"

  • 2

    Newmetalfriend

    7 years ago

    Legind Waitforit Dairy (Misspell on purpose)

  • 2

    Hisaishi

    7 years ago

    My name is Dan Smith. That could be anyone. Something like Dick McTitjob is forever.

  • 2

    Dr. Demon Harlequin

    7 years ago

    Benjamin Franklin, John Hancock, Gareth Gobelcoque...Wait.

  • 2

    Marie Horan

    7 years ago

    i said blue but now i wanna be red cuz ppl are just gonna think its a coincidence :(

  • 2

    Xifihas

    7 years ago

    Lars Lars Pantsonfars

  • 2

    Kyle Wheeler

    7 years ago

    sign my alter ego, Capt. McSexy Pants

  • 2

    Viewtiful Joe

    7 years ago

    I. P. Freely is a perfectly acceptable name. ;)

  • 2

    EridolfHitlora

    7 years ago

    Eridolf Hitlora

  • 2

    Jermaine Williams

    7 years ago

    No one would believe it was me anyways, might as well make people laugh for the duration of american history.

  • 2

    Ryan

    8 years ago

    Hilarity would ensue.

  • 2

    p01arb33r

    8 years ago

    wtf people!

  • 1

    connor da

    2 years ago

    this sucks :D by brock

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